


Desert Weather

by SlicedMilk



Series: Of Skeletons and sandstorms [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, False Identity, Fluff, Gangs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychological Trauma, Running Away, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2020-05-31 10:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlicedMilk/pseuds/SlicedMilk
Summary: After running from the mafia, Kurloz finds himself living on the couch of an attractive young cattle farmer. Chaos ensues





	1. Chapter 1

Kurloz travels for days, he hops trains and hardly pays attention to where they're heading. He just wants to be as far away as possible from that place. He contemplates getting a flight to a different country, but he doesn't. When he steps off of the last train he can be bothered to get onto, he's in Arizona, the station is small, and unassuming, he can see the heat coming off of the dirt. It's a far cry from the familiar cold chills of Michigan.

He likes it.

There's a road connected to the station, but no cars to be seen. He looks either way down the road, thinking. He looks at the wooden sign posts at the edge of the road. One way leads to a town, the other sign's words have been buffeted away, presumably by sands in the wind.

He starts walking toward the town, the heat burns down on him, not a single cloud in the sky to shield him. He's so lost in thought he hardly notices as a truck heading away from the town comes up on the horizon. When he does notice it, he also notices how his arms ache and sting, he grimaces, hoping the wounds aren't infected. Whoever is in the truck seems used to seeing hopeless people walking out of the desert, the slow down and stop next to him. The truck is old and dusty as all hell, Kurloz doesn't expect the person who leans out of the window to be anything like how they are. They're around his age, their skin is a dark tan, they clearly work outside. They have red streaks in their dark brown hair and warm golden hazel eyes. Kurloz just stares at them for a second, a little out of it.

"-Hey?" Kurloz blinks, realizing they've been talking, he didn't hear them. "you okay?" They look worried, Kurloz goes to speak but the world starts to spin. Kurloz doesn't even have enough time to fall over all the way before he's caught by strong tanned arms. He utters a shuddering gasp, looking up at them, but the sun glares in his eyes and he's blinded by it. He just groans in their arms and passes the fuck out.

This isn't the first time Rufioh has had to pick up a collapsed wanderer off of this road. He picks the man up, he's tall, but Rufioh immediately notices how thin the man is, he doesn't really think anything of it though. He puts him in the passenger seat of his truck. Some time in the shade and some water when he comes to and he should be fine. Rufioh drives on to his family's ranch, he'll give the stranger a lift back into town once he's feeling better. The stranger comes too right as Rufioh pulls into his driveway, he turns the engine off and looks at the thin man. He looks dehydrated and confused at the very least  
"Wha..?" he starts, looking around a bit, his eyes unfocused.

"You passed out, come on, let's get you inside where it's cooler" Rufioh's truck had air con but it was troublesome at best. He gets out and walks around to the side the stranger is sat in. He opens the door and helps the stranger into the farm house. He seems unusually weak, even for someone lost in the desert. Rufioh helps them sit down on the couch and goes to get himself and the stranger a glass of water each.

Kurlox watches the tanned man walk back into the living room area with two glasses of water, he's offered one, his hands are shaky but he takes it

"thanks" he says quietly, looking at the water between sips.

"No problem" the man leans against a half wall, drinking his own water. Kurloz takes in his surroundings-or tries to. He was never good at people tactical like his brother and father, he was useless in their mafia. He managers to notice that there's another truck in the driveway, but that's about all he manages before the glass that slipped out of his hands smashes on the floor, he starts to keel over again, only to be caught yet again by those strong tanned arms. "Whoa, easy, hey? You okay?" the concerned voice sounds far away, or maybe like he's underwater.

"arms..." the weak stranger groans, at first Rufioh doesn't understand, he leans them back on the sofa so they don't face plant the floor. Then he realizes he must mean that he's hurt and pulls the hoodie off of him.

"Shit." Is his blunt and honest reaction when he sees the bandages falling away from the thin man's arms to reveal stables going up the lengths of his inner arms. The wounds are weeping, infected. Tavros walks in carrying a crate "Tav, give me a hand" his brother sets the crate down "Get the medical kit would you, quick" The two of them work to clean up the man's arms and redress them. Once the man is out cold on the sofa Tavros turns to him

"You find him on the road?"

"yeah, didn't realize he was hurt like this when I first picked him up though" Rufioh replies, then sighs "Where's Da?"

"He'll be along soon" the sky is darkening outside, the desert growing cold.


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner is ready by the time the front door swings open and their father comes in, he sees the stranger asleep and bandaged on his couch as he comes in, and eyes him as he walks past to the kitchen

"Hey Da"

"Welcome back" his sons say to him as they see him

"Who's that?" He asks, nodding his head toward the stranger

"Not sure unfortunately, he hasn't been conscious enough to say much" Rufioh says "Found him on the road, he's hurt pretty bad"

"Not local" their father comments

"Definitely not" Rufioh agrees, they eat dinner quietly, they're all tired from working all day, not really wanting much conversation. Eventually Rufioh speaks up again "His injuries are infected, I'll have to take him to the hospital tomorrow if his fever hasn't gone down by then" His dad nods at him. Once the dishes are cleaned up their dad heads to his bedroom, he would normally sit in the living for a bit, but he doesn't want to hinder the stranger's sleep at all. Tavros stays with Rufioh in the kitchen, until they hear the couch shift a bit as the stranger starts to wake up. Rufioh walks around the couch, looking down at the thin man. Tavros leaves to give them some space.

Kurloz looks up at the tanned man, he looks around a bit, he doesn't feel quite as ill as he did before. They offer a concerned smile, he realizes his arms hurt like hell, he looks down at them, they've been redressed

"They're infected" The man tells him, he groans

"great." he says sarcastically 

"You did that to yourself?" The question isn't accusatory, it's... gentle, a sort of careful probing to see how fragile Kurloz's psyche is. He recognizes it as caution, this man doesn't want to upset him. he looks back up at the golden hazel eyes

"Yeah, it..." he considers how to explain that he doesn't want to die anymore, at least, not right now. "I wasn't thinking, I-" he struggles, the mans sees it

"It's okay, you don't need to explain yourself to me" comes the warm response "Where are you from?" he stares at the man again, who raises his palms for Kurloz to see "It just might help to know, if you have to go to the hospital"

"Nowhere-It doesn't matter-" Kurloz says quickly, tense suddenly, if he goes to a hospital, they could find out who he is, make him go back.

"Hey, easy, you're not the first person I've seen running from something." That doesn't help Kurloz to relax "Can you at least tell me what to call you?"

Kurloz isn't an idiot, he knows running from the mafia is fucking difficult, he spent most of his time hopping trains thinking up a new identity, he knows what he should do, he should use his new name, say he's from somewhere inconspicuous. But something about the tanned man makes him just tell the truth.

"Kurloz" he says quietly, then he looks away from the man, avoiding eye contact.

"I'm Rufioh, you're on my family's ranch right now" Kurloz starts to sit up to look around, a hand is on his chest before he can really try "I really wouldn't put any strain on those staples if I were you" the concern is back in his voice. Kurloz doesn't have the strength to argue even if he wanted to, which he doesn't really want to anyway. Rufioh helps him to sit up though.

"Thanks.., uhh," he isn't really sure what to say, but thankfully this doesn't seem to be Rufioh's first time having a stranger staying on his couch.

"No problem, are you hungry? We already ate dinner but I made enough for you too" Kurloz doesn't think he's eaten in... days at least.

"Yeah, please." Rufioh goes and into the adjoined kitchen and comes back a few moments later with a plate of food. He hands it to Kurloz along with a knife and fork. Kurloz settles on the plate on his lap and eats carefully. Rufioh busies himself with something at the kitchen table, but sticks around in case Kurloz needs his help. When Kurloz is done he tries to push the plate onto a side table next to the couch, his arms are clearly weak with how he struggles to even lift the plate right now.

"Don't worry I got it" Rufioh takes the plate from him and takes it back to the kitchen

"Thanks" Kurloz says from where he's sat, Rufioh comes back a moment later and sits on an armchair opposite Kurloz

"Well then, Kurloz, you can stay here for a few days if you want, I'm tempted to take you to a hospital but I don't think you want that" Kurloz feels panic rise in his chest

"Uhh, I know I told you my name was Kurloz, but-"

"Is it a fake name?" Rufioh doesn't seem surprised

"No, actually, that's... that's the problem"

"ah, so what do you want me to call you?" Rufioh asks simply. Kurloz finds Rufioh's nonjudgmental demeanor calming. Kurloz thinks for a moment

"Keanu?"

"Okay, Keanu" Rufioh gives him a little smile "no problem"

"You don't mind?"

"No, why should I?" Rufioh shrugs "you're definitely not the worst guy I've given a ride to"

"I'm not?"

"Nah, I've been picking people up off of that road for 7 years, I know people, and you're not a bad person." Kurloz relaxes a little more, he looks at the moon through the window, it's full and bright, millions of stars glisten across the black blanket of night. He realizes he's never seen so many in his life.

"You can see so many stars out here" he comments tiredly

"You from a city?" Rufioh asks, but he sees that Kurloz is half asleep already. He gets up to go to bed himself

"yeah" he hears Kurloz say from the couch before he turns the light off

"Try to get some sleep, Keanu"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings for; body horror, nightmares, past self harm

In the morning Kurloz wakes up as soon as it starts to get light outside. The whole world sounds silent, no whir of machinery, no footsteps from patrolling guards. He's alone in the living room, his arms hurt less, he takes this as a good sign. He looks around some more, he notices there's a dog asleep under a rocking chair that's pushed into the corner. It's a big dog, but not bigger than the dogs his dad had guarding the mansion. as he moves to sit up the dog opens their eyes. Kurloz stays still for a second, worried the dog may be aggressive, but the dog stretches and walks over to Kurloz, wagging it's tail gently. Kurloz carefully pets the dog's head, he looks down to the collar around the dog's neck 'PETER' is engraved in the tag. Kurloz smiles a bit as he strokes down Peter's head and back, his fur is a sort of tan colour, it's short, not too soft either.

Kurloz eventually gets up and looks for the bathroom, Peter walks a few steps behind him, when he finds the bathroom he uses the toilet ad then washes his hands and face, looking up at himself in the mirror, he hardly recognizes himself, but he hasn't recognized himself in years. He wonders what he's doing, running away? why, to find someplace quiet to die? to start new? he doesn't know. More light is coming in through the windows now, he must have spaced out. He leaves the bathroom, Peter gets up from where he was lay in front of the bathroom door and wags his tail a bit at Kurloz. Kurloz pets his head again gently

"He likes you" Kurloz looks to the voice, they look like Rufioh but younger, they're stood in the kitchen, making breakfast from the looks of it.

"He's very gentle" Kurloz comments, walking toward them

"He's a stray, he comes and goes as he pleases, we feed him when he's around these parts."

"Where do you think he goes?" Kurloz asks, looking at the gentle dog again

"No idea, but it's best not to keep an animal like that trapped someplace, so we let him do what he needs to." Kurloz thinks on that hard. Is that what he's like? Is he a stray, someone who shouldn’t be trapped and tied down to one place? He think maybe, he might be. "You want some breakfast?" Kurloz focuses his eyes on the other man again

"Yeah, sorry let me help" he goes to move but the man shakes his head

"No you're fine, just rest those arms, okay? You good with toast and bacon?"

"Oh, uhh, yeah thanks" Kurloz sits down at the table in the corner of the kitchen, there's a newspaper next to an old coffee mug. Kurloz feels his heart drop through his stomach when he sees the headline. 'MAFIA MAN MISSING: GANG WAR ONGOING' He gasps, that's about him-he ran away and he started a fucking gang war. 

"Awful isn't it?" He hears the man chip in "I don't understand how people live like that" Kurloz frowns as he reads some of the article 'As the search for the Mob Boss' son continues, it's looking more and more grim, with the boy's bank account having been drained only hours after his suspected kidnapping. The gang, known as Capricous, have rapidly expanded their terf, pushing all other gangs further and further out of the city in the hopes of finding the boy, or even a body.' Kurloz flips the newspaper over so he can't read it

"I don't understand it either" Kurloz agrees solemnly.

\---

Rufioh starts awake, the piercing purple eyes of his new couch surfer still burnt in his head from his dream. well _that_ has never happened before with one of the people he's picked up. Rufioh shakes his head and rubs his eyes, waking himself up. He gets up, thinking over his dream as he walks to his window.

_There was a sand storm, you could hardly see 3 feet in front of you and your eyes stung from the sand, your skin sore as it pelts you. You see a dark figure in the sand, tall but skeletal thin, you shield your face with your hand and push through the winds to reach them. as you get closer, you see the figure come into focus, Kurloz. He has his arms by his sides, and he's staring at you. His purple eyes burn into yours, then you notice the blood._

_Purple blood flowing down his arms from the wounds he sports, staples ripped away from the skin. He drops down onto his knees how he did when you first saw him on the road, his thin body starting to wither away before your eyes. his skin falling away from his muscle and bone. His torn clothes being ripped by the wind and thrown off of his skeleton body. You can't move, frozen in horror. He still stares at you, his purple eyes still burn into you._

Rufioh groans to himself quietly as he tugs his dream catcher from where it's hooked above his window, he opens the window and shakes it out before hanging it back up. He goes down the stairs, find Tavros Kurloz, and surprisingly, Peter all enjoying some toast and bacon. there's more on the grill him and Da. Rufioh gets himself some and sits down at the table with the other two

"Morning Tavros, Keanu" he nods to Kurloz

"Morning" Tavros smiles back to him "I gotta go out and get the herd moved, big storm coming" Rufioh nods

"I'll come with you, you'll need the help." Rufioh says. Kurloz looks between them "How are your arms feeling?"

"Better" Rufioh nods again, that's good.

\---

Kurloz watches as Rufioh and Tavros ride out towards where their herd is from where he's stood on the back porch. Peter is running along with them, he frowns, wishing that Peter would stay, he never liked the dogs his dad had, but he likes Peter. Their Father or 'Da' has driven one of the trucks out to the town, he offered Kurloz a lift but it was clear he wasn't expected to leave, and he decided to stay a while. He sits on the old chair that's stood in the shade of the porch, resting, feeling the warmth from the desert, enjoying the quiet the desert offers.


	4. Chapter 4

The day was hot and still, no breeze to be felt. Kurloz has been curled up on the seat on the porch for hours, watching the clouds in the sky. He’d never felt so at peace in his life. Rufioh and his younger brother Tavros had disappeared over the horizon on their bikes, some time ago, and Kurloz found himself wondering how they managed in the sun and heat without shade for so long. The warmth of the air and the old plush cushion on the chair soon persuaded Kurloz into calm sleep.

his nightmares had entirely stopped after he ran away, but for some reason, they came back. When he woke up with a start, Peter had his head on Kurloz’s knee, he was whining up at the thin man. Kurloz pet his head gently, calming down. He looked around, the bikes weren’t back, so Peter must’ve just wandered back here on his own. The dog puts his paws up on Kurloz’s leg hesitantly, then hops the rest of the way onto Kurloz’s lap. He is by no means a lap dog, but he’s making it work. He curls up on the chair with Kurloz, who finds he appreciates the dog’s company more than he thought he would. He gently lets Peter’s head until he doses off again.

—-

when Rufioh and Tavros start to come up on the farm, they can see that Kurloz is still on the chair where he was when they left, Peter, who’s lying on him, picks his head up when he sees them coming and smiles at them, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. They park up the bikes and Rufioh makes his way over to Kurloz. He’s asleep, he looks calm and peaceful, that’s good.

Rufioh doesn’t know what Kurloz is running from, but if it’s bad enough to attempt suicide, it must be pretty bad.

its a few hours later before Kurloz walks back into the house, Peter following just behind him.

”evening” Rufioh says to him, nodding subtly at him. Kurloz gives him a little smile

”...evening” he says quietly. Rufioh wonders if he’s usually like this, guarded and scared, or if it’s just because he doesn’t know them very well. They’re alone in the house and Rufioh slides a plate of sandwiches across the table toward him

”I wasn’t sure when you’d wake up so I didn’t start dinner” Rufioh tells him as Kurloz sits down opposite him. Taking a sandwich in hand.

”where are the others?”

”Tavros and Da went to town to see some business partners” Kurloz mentally cringes at the phrasing. The last time he saw a business partner of any sort they were balls deep in him. Rufioh looks at Kurloz, worried “uhh, you okay?” Kurloz nods quickly

”yeah!” It comes out too fast and too high and the world spins around Kurloz, everything suddenly seems to close and yet much too far away. He’s hyper aware of his eyelashes in the corners of his vision and the ache in his arms.

The stone flooring is surprisingly cold and the pattern on the ceiling is so unfamiliar.

It isn’t for a few more minutes that Kurloz realises he’s actually lying on the floor. Rufioh is sat next to him, his hand on Kurloz’s arms. Kurloz’s expression must be telling

”you back with me?” Kurloz blinks at him dumbly “you just had a panic attack, Keanu” he blinks again... is that was that was? How long had things like that been happening? How often did he loose minutes, hours, when the world spun and the floor was the only thing he could ground himself to. He felt his heart rate spike again and he sucked in a quick breath “Hey, Keanu, look at me” Kurloz blinked himself back into the room and set his eyes on Rufioh “there you go, I’m here, you’re okay, it’s okay” the hands on his arms help him to sit up. Kurloz is exhausted suddenly, he must look it too “come on, let’s get you into a real bed, the sofa can’t be making sleep easy” Kurloz doesn’t argue, biting his tongue to stop himself remarking that sleep is never easy. 

He’s lead up the stairs and guided into what he assumes is Rufioh’s room. It’s quaint, very homely, lots of earthy tones and ornaments on every surface, hung on every wall. It’s. Long way from the cold ‘modern’ plain white walls of his family’s mansion. He likes it. Rufioh helps him sit on the bed, his legs are still wobbly from adrenaline. Rufioh stays with him a little while, making sure the panic won’t return again. Peter climbs up onto the bed with Kurloz and curls up along his back, Kurloz relishes in how secure it makes him feel. Peter at his back and Rufioh sat in front of him, he hasn’t felt like safe in a long time.

he drifts to sleep again quickly, exhausted and worn out, he doesn’t even speak or thank Rufioh before the sleep eats him up again.

Rufioh watches Kurloz sleep for a little while, to make sure he’s settled. Then he leaves and pads down the stairs, starting dinner, trying to identify what could’ve set Kurloz off like that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to TwistedJuggalux <3

Kurloz didn't wake up again that night. Rufioh considered waking him up to get him to eat but decided against it when he'd seen how genuinely relaxed Kurloz looked. He'd stood in the doorway of his room for a few minutes just watching. Seeing the stranger's face without frown lines and forehead creases had honestly shocked him, Kurloz was beautiful, gorgeous even. Rufioh shook his head to clear his thoughts, he wasn't supposed to think things like that about someone vulnerable he was helping.

When he woke up the next morning, Kurloz was sat in the chair opposite the sofa he was sleeping on, Kurloz looks up from the newspaper he's reading when Rufioh moves. He spies the clock, 6am.

"Morning" He gives Kurloz a smile, he smiles back. Rufioh keeps his eyes on Kurloz's face for a few seconds, noting how the worry lines are back on his face, before he gets sucked into the deep purple eyes. He looks away, Kurloz didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he doesn't say anything about it. "Have you been up long?" Kurloz shakes his head gently. They stay quiet for a few moments, an odd atmosphere settling over the room. 

\---

Kurloz had been sleeping on their sofa for a few months now, he helps out around the house to 'pay' them, and honestly the Nitrams are glad for it, it's much cleaner now Kurloz is there. His wounds on his arms have healed into scars, and with a proper diet he's started to look a healthier body weight. Sometimes things set him off into panic but Rufioh still hasn't figured out why, and Kurloz clearly doesn't want to talk about it. Peter has seemingly decided that Kurloz is his human, they're mostly inseparable. Kurloz, Peter, and Rufioh are in the kitchen when Da goes home from town, he has a box under his arm. 

"What's that?" Rufioh asks, nodding to the box as he eats his dinner. Da smiles at them

"Well, you know I said I was going to do up the storage room?"

"Yeah?"

"Well I finished it, this is the finishing touch" He smiling how he does when he's scheming. He walks toward the storage room and Rufioh looks at Kurloz, who shrugs, he hasn't gone in there all week via Da's request.

"Well, come look!" Da calls a few minutes later, the two get up from their seats at the table and go to the storage room. All the boxes are gone, there's a little cupboard, fold out bed with a dog bed underneath it, the light is working again and there's an air-con unit up and running. Da turns to Kurloz "I thought you might want a room of your own, rather than the couch, seeing as you're staying a while" Kurloz stares at him, confused "It's for you, Keanu, this is your room now" Da reiterates gently, they can both tell he isn't used to gestures like this.

"Thank you..." he says quietly, not looking like he knows really how to explain how grateful he is. He looks around at everything in the room, looking like he's taking it in, Rufioh and Da see that his eyes are wet but then he turns away from them.

"No worries kid" Da hadn't expected to let Keanu stay so long when Rufioh had first found him wandering the desert, but he could tell the kid had been through a lot, and that he really needed some support and attention, and above that, he clearly deserved someone to care for him, everything about him screamed that he had been raised terribly, his mannerisms and how he flinched at raised voices or too-fast movements. Da felt so bad for him, yeah they'd picked up rough kids before but they'd never been as scared as Keanu.

Da nudges Rufioh out of the room and closes the door to let Keanu just get used to it all without them overwhelming him. When they checked on him later he was curled up on his bed asleep, he looks most peaceful when he’s asleep, when he's not having nightmares that is. Peter pads into the room and curls up on the bed with him, completely ignoring the dog bed. Typical


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been so long, enjoy some more build haha...
> 
> For real though, I’m awful at writing slow burn fanfics, which is why I’m forcing myself to make this as slow as I can, which upsettingly, doesn’t seem very slow. 
> 
> To be honest, I just really enjoy writing porn, so this is me trying to expand.
> 
> I’m working on it, thinking I might go back and redo chapter 5, but I also kinda wanna just update this so idk.

Rufioh looks over the edge of the roof when he sees Kurloz come outside, he’s fixing part of the roof-battered by the last sandstorm. Kurloz looks up at him

“Hey, you good?” He asks, tilting his head at the former couch surfer

“Have you seen Peter?” Kurloz asks him, frowning. Rufioh frowns at what that implies. If Peter has wandered off again, it’ll be the first time he has since Kurloz got here, and Rufioh isn’t sure how his new housemate will take that

“No. He’s not with you?“

“No, I haven’t seen him since last night.” Kurloz looks... unreadable. Rufioh moves toward the ladder to come down off of the roof

“I’ll help you look for him, but he might have wandered off.” He says, starting down the ladder.

“Why?” Kurloz asks quickly, too quickly, the pitch of his voice too high. Rufioh moves faster to get down the ladder, watching Kurloz out of the corner of his eye, he has his hand on his chest and he’s backing up toward the Back door of the house. Rufioh knows the expression on his face, he’s panicking. Rufioh hops the last strut of the ladder and crosses the space between them, putting a hand on his shoulder to try and reassure him, Kurloz grabs onto his arm immediately, his eyes wide “why would he leave?” Rufioh can only just understand what he’s saying, he’s shaking under Rufioh’s hand, the grip on his arm is desperate “Why would he leave me?” Rufioh grimaces at the pure pain in Kurloz’s voice, he’s about to speak when Kurloz’s legs give up, Rufioh manages to get his other arm behind Kurloz and catch him before he collapses. He goes down on his knee to rest Kurloz on the ground, the thin man clutching onto his arm still. Kurloz has pushed his head into Rufioh’s chest now, he’s seen Kurloz do this with Peter before, but it’s the first time he’s done it with him. He’s shaking and Rufioh can feel tears seeping through his shirt. “What did I do?” His voice is muffled by Rufioh’s shirt, but he still catches it.

“You didn’t do anything, he’s a stray, he doesn’t like being in one place for too long, you know that, you know it isn’t you.” Rufioh tells him gently, sitting with Kurloz now, a hand on his back, rubbing circles instinctively. He’s been doing this more, the panic attacks just keep coming, he won’t go to a doctor, won’t even consider it. Rufioh Sighs as he feels Kurloz shake against his front, Both hands gripped onto his shirt. he feels an odd feeling blooming in his chest, he can’t quite place what it is, can’t quite explain what it is, but he does know it makes him want to keep holding onto Kurloz until he stops crying, and then never let go, ever. 

—-

When Kurloz calms down, it’s a long while later, and he looks exhausted as he peels himself off of Rufioh’s wet shirt, it’s dark now, There’s no moon tonight, but plenty of stars. Rufioh gives him a soft smile, Kurloz Just frowns at Back at him. Rufioh is surprised that Kurloz can keep panic up for so long, it must be so tiring. He takes a deep breath

“Okay, come on, you look exhausted, you need to go to bed” Kurloz shakes his head, letting go of Rufioh suddenly, pulling away and standing up sharply

“No.” Kurloz says quickly, his back to Rufioh, looking out at the desert. Rufioh quirks his eyebrows, a little confused, he tries to identify what he did wrong, but he isn’t sure, Kurloz’s triggers still evade him. He stands up and comes up next to him

“Do you want to look for Peter?” He asks, Kurloz nods “okay, you check the house, I’ll check out here, sound good?” Kurloz faces him now, his eyes are watery again

“Yeah... sorry”

“It’s okay, I’ll meet you inside in a little bit.” Kurloz nods and heads inside. Rufioh checks all the buildings and Barns, every shed and under every truck. No Peter. When he heads inside and closes the door behind him, Kurloz is leant against the kitchen table, looking hopefully at him “sorry, he’s not out there.” Kurloz deflates and whimpers, his arms wrapping around his stomach. Rufioh frowns seeing him look so fragile, but he leaves before Rufioh can say anything else, Rufioh watches him walk away, into his room, watches the door close. He ends up stood just staring at Kurloz’s door for a while before he takes a deep breath, sighs, and starts to make dinner.

—-

Kurloz doesn’t come to dinner, and Rufioh explains to Da and Tavros that Kurloz(Keanu to them) is upset because Peter has wandered off. They’re both worried.

“He isn’t doing well is he?” Tavros asks, keeping his voice down

“I don’t think so, but I can’t get him to go to a doctor.” Rufioh decides keeping his voice quiet would be good aswell, the walls here are thin.

“Why?”

“He ran from something Tavros, Keanu probably isn’t his real name, and they won’t treat him without knowing his identity” Da tells him, also keeping his voice quiet. Tavros looks a little offended At the idea

“He’s been here for months, why wouldn't he tells us his real name? Does he not trust us?”

“Tav, it’s not that simple, we don’t know what he went through, I’m sure he has his reasons” their Da explains, Rufioh is thankful for it, Tavros is much younger than him, he Doesn’t always understand things like this, delicate things.

—-

Rufioh is cleaning up the dinner plates when Kurloz slinks into the room, he doesn’t even notice him until he turns and Kurloz is just... there. It even makes him jump a little. 

“Hey, uh, sorry” Kurloz comes over to help clean up, that’s what he agreed with their father he would do in exchange for rent and food.

“Really it’s fine.”

“It’s not!-“ he looks a little flustered, and Rufioh is surprised by his raised voice, but even his raise voice is quiet and scared. “I- I don’t want to be useless-“ Rufioh frowns listening to him and he quiet his Anxious rambling with a hand on Kurloz’s 

“Keanu, it’s okay, no one is always a hundred percent all of the time. Just relax, just get an early night or something.” Kurloz looks upset, almost desperate 

“I... can’t sleep without Peter.”

Oh.

“Right! Sorry I didn’t realise that, uhh, hmm” He tries to think of something to say, but Kurloz steps past him and picks at the leftovers from dinner, not seeming to mind Rufioh not knowing what to say. Once he has a plate he heads to the back door to sit outside with his food. Rufioh grabs a blanket and follows him out, knowing the seat out here will be cold. He chucks it down before Kurloz sits down and plonks down next to him, they eat out here a lot, Kurloz says he likes how quiet it is.

—-

They’ve been out here for hours now, cause Kurloz can’t sleep, not that Rufioh minds. They’ve ended up bundled up under the blanket, star gazing of all things, huddled close to keep warm. The desert may be scorching hot during the day, but at night it’s freezing.

Rufioh points at another set of stars “that one is the Capricorn constellation” and he glances at Kurloz. He’s staring up, his face unreadable again. Rufioh furrows his brows, touching Kurloz’s arm under the blanket gently, Kurloz looks at him and blinks a few times Before looking back at the stars

“Sorry, I... I’m a Capricorn, I didn’t know... I didn’t know it was so beautiful.” He says unsurely.

“You’re a Capricorn?” Rufioh asks, and Kurloz nods. Rufioh tucks that knowledge away for later, in case he never find out when his actual birthday is. “I’m a Taurus” he says, so they’ve both shared something. Kurloz looks thankful. Rufioh frowns to himself, Kurloz is scared even to say what his zodiac sign is... what the hell happened to him. He notices as he thinks that, that Kurloz is scratching at the scars on his arms. “Hey... can I ask What happened?” He says gently, because he’ll, it’s 3am and they’re outside star gazing, and if there’s ever a time to ask important questions, it’s now. Kurloz doesn’t answer, and Rufioh Is just deciding how to apologise for asking when Kurloz speaks 

“My brother, uhh” he looks up, clearing his throat, swallowing the lump in his throat “we didn’t have a good upbringing but-“ he sighs “But one day he got fed up with me, I wasn’t pulling my weight how they wanted me to, he decided I wasn’t good for anything-“ Kurloz stops, swallowing down another lump in his throat. He’s holding Rufioh’s hand Tight, looking at literally anything other than Rufioh’s face. “Apart from sex, I guess” Rufioh is glad for the moment that Kurloz isn’t looking at him because he’s horrified. He hadn’t known what to expect, but that definitely wasn’t it. “I don’t even think I told him no, I don’t remember anymore. But I didn’t want it, and he knew that. Then he kept doing it, just whenever, then dad started too. And for a while, I thought I needed it, I thought if I could at least do that for them, I wouldn’t be useless anymore.” He stops talking, and Rufioh is worried he expects him to say something but he starts again after wiping tears from his face “My brother beat me up when I let someone else fuck me, and I couldN’t stand it anymore. Him and my dad didn’t want anyone else to touch me like that. My body belongs to them, and I just... if no one apart from them is allowed to touch me, then I don’t want them to touch me either. So I tried to kill myself.” He shrugs, the blanket slips down his back a bit and Rufioh, desperate to make this easier for him, pulls it back up. He really has no idea what to say. Kurloz looks at him, and Rufioh gives his hand a squeeze

“You don’t have to tell me” He says gently

“I know,” Kurloz looks tired, but almost happy “but that’s what makes me want to.”


End file.
